Btw even recently I gave a guy a siddur and don’t think that it was tznius or appropriate. I had an extra that I bought to give to a friend.
I didn’t plan on giving it to him but then he was there and I told myself that maybe Hashem wanted him to have it because he seemed so far from Yiddishkeit. I thought maybe he will open it and use it.
Once a rabbi gave me the same exact exact siddur and since then I have been giving them out too. It’s a tiny little powerful picture book that fits in your pocket. Maybe I can pass on the rabbi’s goodness like a shliach.
But the truth is that I am not a rabbi.
When I do chessed, it is gendered. Even when I don’t see it. And I don’t understand a lot of it because I want to live in a happy fairy sparkly loving glitterland.
You know that place. It is a good place where helping is always good and brings you closer to Hashem and heals the world. It is a spiritual place.
The thing is that we live here. In a mixed material world where we elevate the material and make it holy. That requires us to hold back sometimes. Hold back on reaching out personally.
If someone is OTD, the best thing that you can do is maybe refer him to a rabbi or kiruv expert. Or let him figure it out. And stay away.
If that seems too hard then try it once. An experiment. Do it one time and see how the rest of your day and night play out. Be strong and go to sleep that night as part of an experiment and ask Hashem for clarity.
Tell yourself that you are good.
You are good!
Occupy your time with what will help you grow and as hard as it is, look away if you need to, and give the JOB to someone else. It is not your job to mekarev a guy. If you want, pray for him and let it go.
So that is it.
Sending you love and blessings.