You’re going from not being a top bochur, so maybe second place, to now saying that you’re being treated like an outcast.
Dunno what to tell you… hearing you though.
I’m a BT and dated someone who smoked cigarettes and did a plethora of other things, dropped out of yeshiva and then some, and then returned. Obviously I’m not one of those top girls and don’t come from one of those families.
And this person’s mother had a ton to say about me and why I’m not good enough. It hurts. I get it. She didn’t know me. She Googled her worst nightmares. But at the end of the day, someone’s mom is going to be someone else’s mother-in-law.
If this mother wants the top bochur and is turning away your friend, is her relationship with her future son-in-law conditional on whatever impression she has of him?
We marry a person but their family affects us.
Maybe reframe the way that you see this. What’s good about the situation for you and your friend? There must be a lesson in here. Maybe a redirection?