Ub- a response to your response (quoting and requoting is going to get too confusing)
I am glad that you feel that my basic description of chareidim applies to most frum Jews- it is so encouraging that keeping halacha without compromise, valuing limud hatorah, and listening to rabbanim is the default!
Here’s my theory: What distinguishes among what I call chareidi and other types is what else the community values, and what is the order of priority among these values. I believe that for chareidim, limud hatorah trumps all. The isolationism and aversion of secular knowledge that, as you put it, are unique to chareidim, are not priorities in themselves but rather a very important means of preserving the core values listed above in today’s world.
If however, you add the mitzva of yishuv eretz yisroel and defending it high up on my original list, you get another type of frum Jew. Add being a positive part of society and combining Torah with secular knowledge, and you get another type. Emphasis on kedusha and avoda, with a Rebbe as a means to achieve these, and you get yet a third type. Sorry if this is a bit simplistic, but I think it can resolve some of the arguments going around here about this issue.