I don’t know who made up these shidduch “rules”. I’ve had singles of all ages call me asking for a shidduch, I’ve had mothers call and I’ve had fathers call. To me it makes no difference. I personally prefer speaking to the single even if it’s just on the phone so I can get a better idea of what they are about. Parents will always rave about their kids and maybe it’s true in many cases, but I have to take what they say with a grain of salt. Many shadchanim wouldn’t go for the idea of speaking to a young lady directly. If I were you, I’d call the shadchan and ask if she doesn’t mind speaking to me directly so she could get a better idea of what you are like and what you are looking for. If she would prefer speaking to a parent, you’ll have to do that, if you want to work with them. You can’t change the system-it’s broken and archaic but you have no choice. Only Rabbanim can make the changes unilaterally. Hazlacha rabba!
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