I think much of this problem can be solved by reinforcing with in our commuinty 2 concepts:
1) Responsibility- Every man has a responsibility to support and take care of his wife. This is HIS chiyuv. Not anyone elses.
You would not expect someone else to daven kriyas shema in the morning for you- because that is your chiyuv. in the same token a man cannot expect someone else to relieve him of his chiyuv to support his wife
How does one prepare for this responsibility?
Simple! Make an integral contribution to society and society will support you.
There are certain yechidim who are contributing to society by making a decision to learn their whole life. Those are people who society will decide to ‘adopt’.
If someone does not think they are making an integral contribution to others in society by learning, then they should waste no time in deciding how and when they DO plan on doing something productive that will benefit others, and by means of such, earn himself a livelihood.
How then do we understand the concept of someone who wants to learn for in kollel for a number of years? this brings us to the second point.
2) Kollel is a luxury.
If someoene IS given the opportunity to learn in kollel- it is certainly not something to give up! Grab it and cherish it! make the most of it- this is one of the biggest luxuries you will ever have in your life. You have been given a chance to step out of olam hazeh and get a small glimpse of olam haba. Take advantage of every moment and utilize it to the best of your ability.
However, realize that although you may have been temporarily relieved from your responsibilities, this is a free gift. This is not something that a parent owes you, not something you may demand. Realize that although your obligations are hidden, they are still very real and exist, all be it in the background for right now.