Reply To: How long does a meeting with a shadchan take?

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#1217138
Lilmod Ulelamaid
Participant

It really depends. I haven’t done it in a while so I don’t really remember what the norm is (if there is one). I would think that you should expect half an hour, but I’m not sure.

What do they ask?

Questions they will almost definitely ask you:

1. What are you looking for?

2. What do you do (if you’re in school, then where are you in school and what are you studying? if you’re working, where do you work and what is your job?)

3. Where are you from?

4. What are your plans?

5. Where did you go to high school?

6. Where did you go to Seminary?

7. Who are your references?

8. What does your father do?

9. What does your mother do?

10. How many siblings do you have/what number are you in your family/what do each of your siblings do or where do they learn or go to school?

11. Where did your father go to Yeshiva?

They also will probably ask you questions about your hashkafa/religious level unless it’s clear from your answers to the other questions (like what you’re looking for). In terms of that, they might ask about movies/tv. They might ask you about the type of Yeshiva you would go out with guys from (BMG, Chofetz Chaim, Ner Yisrael, YU, etc). They will ask you if you want a guy who’s learning or working or both, long-term or short-term.

Aside from that, you can end up with shadchanim who ask all sorts of original questions. I’ve had some interesting experiences. I remember one shadchan who asked me if I would have secular books in my house, and was horrified when I told her that I like Dr Seuss and might consider the possibility of having it in the house.