Lenny1970, I am sorry you lost your wife. She may represent a lot of things to you.
It is okay to be sad right now.
Letting her be happy is also giving yourself a chance at that too. I know that you don’t want to her to be sad and hurt.
It took a lot of courage for you to get to this point of giving the Get. Yasher koach to you.
Also, if you ever need to talk to someone, the Veterans Crisis line is great. I’ve even called it before when a friend of mine who is also a veteran was going through a really hard time.
I talked to someone on the phone for 45min for free. A big blessing. Professional help. People who have dealt with this.
I know that you also have emuna. Maybe Hashem put the idea that you were signing something else there to make it easier for you to listen to your neshama and sign the papers. Remember that Hashem is really in charge. Hashem is your highest commander. Be true to Him. Sometimes the fight is really about letting Him guide us. The Beis Din, your rabbi and your wife, they also are from Hashem and right now it looks like you know what to do.
Hoping the Beis Din is working with you for the best. Thanks for keeping us posted and taking this all to heart 🙂