Lilmod,
From what I have seen, early dating is as you describe. But as the couple become more relaxed with each other, and/or as the individuals have dated more people, things change. Yes, the less yeshivish you get the worse the problem becomes, but even with BMG boys schok (as I defined it earlier) is the norm not the exception for later dates.
I don’t think these Yeshiva boys and Bais Yakov girls think they are doing anything wrong. They are simply not informed.