lightbrite: “Maybe they have an idea but look the other way because they have bigger battles and it’s better to tolerate it than risk pushing people away from Yiddishkeit.”
If this is really an issue of potential arayos, and big tznius concerns, they would not be looking away. I don’t think yeshiva bochurim will be pushed away from Yiddishkeit if they couldn’t go out bowling with a date.
“They may be in a tough predicament. If they prevent young people, hormones and all, from dating as they currently do, then their talmidim may grow resentful.”
Yet there are plenty of rules that the rabbonim set up for during the engagement, as to frequency and purpose of seeing each other. The bochurim understand that these rules are set up for a very good reason.
LB, from your comment, I am not sure how much experience you have with Yeshiva style dating. whether it is in a lounge or a park or the zoo or someone’s living room, it is by its nature formal. The point of a more relaxed setting or a fun date is to get the person to feel more comfortable being him/herself, to facilitate meaningful conversation. It is not an allowance to hormones, and any date that is, is definitely not a tznius one and would never be sanctioned by the rabbonim.