There is no heter for ???? and ???? ???. And yet, this is what goes on on most dates after the first (assuming things are “going well”).
This is a good point. Each date should be L’Toeles, not for “???? and ???? ???”. If one gets to the point where the dates are “flirtatious”, the the couple needs to scale back.
I would hope in Yeraim communities where dating is L’Toeles, there is not ???? and ???? ???.