Joseph – Thank you for asking me for my opinion.
My feeling in general on this topic is that everyone is different and everyone needs to do things the way that works for them, and people shouldn’t be so quick to judge the way others do things.
Of course, there may be some ways of doing things that are theoretically more ideal than others but they may not work for everyone.
Shidduchim is a very sensitive matter, and it is very important that everyone feels that he can do things the way that is right for him and that he doesn’t feel judged or looked down on for it.
This goes both ways – I can’t stand it when people criticize others for only going out 4 times and I can’t stand it when people are criticized for needing to go out for 3 months. Everyone is different, and people shouldn’t be so judgmental.
Personally, I think that the reason I am not married yet is because I was forced to do things in ways that were wrong for me.