Reply To: Confusing halacha, minhag, chumra and shtus*

I used to light many tea lights and say brachot for family members. It felt good to find a way to connect to family that was so physically far away.

When I told a kiruv Rebbetzin about it, I don’t know, I was just telling her a bit about myself. I didn’t expect such a response. It was a vehement statement that I was not supposed to light more than two (It was okay for me to light two as a single woman).

Honestly, her reaction frightened me. Like I got scared straight in my enjoyment of lighting. It felt like I was being forced to go stale. But that was during my first round of being a BT. I took everything I learned so seriously, too seriously (because it was a lot of pressure to be perfect).

In Israel I realized that I’m ready to feel good about my practice. Maybe the rules about lighting have room for me to light with love, to the fullest.