Reply To: Being makpid on looks

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#1210121
The little I know
Participant

To the inexperienced bochur, I can only give a simple piece of advice. Whatever preconceived notions there are about “beauty”, nothing is relevant to how you will live your life. All aspects of appearance are subject to change. It is a grave mistake to base the emotional relationship on anything even remotely related to the looks of a girl. The relevance actually works the other way. If the emotional connection develops and grows, that person will have beauty.

The prevailing notions about beauty are culturally determined, and these involve standards of tznius (even that which is limited to imagery) that are not appropriate for a bochur. It is silly to have Hollywood determine such standards as it is to follow all of Western society’s norms. We look to Torah for guidance, not the street. This is a basic piece of education that is taught by example and by having lifestyles that ignore these “cultural norms” as determinants of our behavior.