a cetain extremely fine and solid yeshivah bochur asked his rebbe the same question. The rebbe said , “of course you have to be makpid on looks, your wife has to be beautiful,in your eyes.”
When this young man was in shiducchim , he never told anyone except his mother that he wanted to marry a pretty girl. The wise mother told him not to worry about it. he should go out with the girls that are suggested based on middos, compatibility and other important faCTORS AND RELY ON HASHEM TO SEND HIM HIS bASHERT. nATURALLY, IF HE DIDN’T LIKE THE GIRL, WHETHER FOR LOOKS OR PRSONALITY ETC, AFTER A FEW DATES NOTHING WOULD WORK OUT.
The mother also never told anyone that her son needed a very pretty girl because it made him sound shallow which he wasn’t. he just was used to goodlooking women because both his bubbies, and all his sisters were very good looking and to him this was the norm. he was actually surprised once when he happened to see a class picture of one of his sisters to notice that she was exceptional in her looks, he thought it was ordinary.
When the time came and he met his wife they hit it off immediately. her smile and her kind expression make you want to like her as soon as you meet her. in addition to her excellent middos and their compatibilty in personality and hashkafa, she happens to be very, goodlooking, in an extremely natural unenhanced way. beautiful both inside and out. The wise mother said. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I was sure he would find his wife to be beautiful, even if the rest of the world didn’t so i didn’t need to tell anyone. (but some other relatives were so surprised, knowing this really serious boy ,and seeing the engagement pictures they said, “how come he got such a beautiful kallah) Hashem sends each person what they need.
in my experience when you get to know a person and like them they become beautiful in your eyes. Daven to Hashem to send you your eishet Chayil and that she should be beauitiful both inside and out, if she’s beautiful in your eyes and beautiful in her middos and behavior then your tefillot will be answeed. don’t just loook at looks. look at her expression, and how she relates to other people. does she complain a lot, is she kind and helpful, short tempered or patient . these are long term qualities you want.