“I don’t know why you think chashad doesn’t apply”
What’s chashad mean? That people will think she’s gay? I really don’t think that’s an issue nowadays. At least not by girls.
I don’t know why it used to be – it sounds strange to me. But maybe it was different then because people’s fathers married them off, and because in those days, most girls preferred marrying anyone rather than being single because girls had no lives back then, it was impossible for them to manage on their own, and/or people had different expectations of marriages.
Nowadays, people assume that if a girl is single, it’s because of the shidduch crisis, or because there aren’t enough normal guys around, etc. There are so many normal single girls today that most people aren’t that judgmental about it. They are only judgmental in the sense that they assume they are overly picky.
But I just realized that maybe it’s talking about a case where someone davka doesn’t want to get married and doesn’t do any hishtadlus at all? I could hear where that might be different. But even then, the only chashad anyone would have is that she has issues or had a bad experience.