Reply To: Women's Bina Yeseira

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bais yakov maidel
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“Talk to the women of the 60s and 70s, how career turned out to be a bust.”

Hahaha. I know you didn’t speak to any of them, because then you would suddenly be surprised to see how wrong your are.

“Many that gave up child bearing years for career and they hate their careers and wish they had more children.”

Maybe, maybe not. I know women who had few children because of their career and today are perfectly happy with their decision. I know women who juggle large families and a career and are happy with that decision. And I know MANY women who devoted their lives solely to raising children and today regret not having a career.

“Our grandmothers had enormous respect for their fathers and husbands. Not so the women of this generation or even the last generation.”

Koheles: 7:10: (I’ll skip the hebrew-I’m sure you know this pasuk) “Don’t say the days before us were better than today, because not from wisdom are you asking this…”

We know that women were forced to tolerate many abuses from men in the past and were not always able to do anything about it-that’s a historical fact… so does that for you translate into respect?? Besides, respect is something to be earned, not something you get automatically because you are male. If you or the men in your life are feeling disrespected, then earn that respect instead of trying to keep putting women “in their place”.

“Our grandmothers had enormous respect for their fathers and husbands. Not so the women of this generation or even the last generation. If someone doesn’t think that feeds into divorce and confusion among the youth, then they aren’t thinking.”

So you think people are getting divorced because women don’t respect men?

“It does not value family, love, community – all the stuff women are good at.”

Family? Ok, you want women to raise the children. Love? I can tell you aren’t married. That’s 50/50 the man and woman. Community? What?? You want women to remain at home raising children. Not being community leaders. Not going to shul all the time. Not being part of any communal organization or chas v’shalom speaking in front of men. Nor having careers where they are leaders because it will “erode their natural sensitivities and softness”.

“It glamorizes career, when most people hate their jobs.”

Really? I don’t know what kind of people you hang around. But most of my friends like their job/career.

Jospeh, you need a serious reality check.

I am not going to argue with you on the halachic/hashkafic plane because we have different frames of reference and it’s a waste of time.

But for heaven’s sake, stop saying all these things as if you know. You are just parroting things you are reading without ever stopping to see if they reflect reality.

Sit down with some women and speak to them. Hear them and listen to what they have to say. If you do this with an open mind, you will find that much of what you are saying in not true. Your image of “the happy housewife” is often a woman on anti-depressants who would do well with a job to lift her out of the repitition housekeeping often entails. You will find that in the 21st century, a women doesn’t necessarily have to choose between a career and family. You will find that the children of homes where the mother did not work are not necessarily better off. You will find women with high-powered careers who have large families and nurse their babies (it’s not thaaaat limiting). Maybe you don’t speak to women and that’s fine. But then stop speaking about them as if you know anything on the matter.

The comtemporary women is a train wreck? Care to explain what that means? Do you know any “comtemporary women”?

I’m not sure why I am wasting my time on this, after all, you ARE Jospeh. But I encourage you to critically analyze the things you read (not sure if your hashkafa allows for that but whatever) and see if they match with reality.