I had one aggressive shadchanit who kept setting me up with unsuitable boys and then pressuring me like, “How can you say ‘no’ when you haven’t met him? Talking on the phone isn’t enough.” Then it was “How can you say ‘no’ when you’ve only met him once? You need to meet with a boy a few times to get to know him.” Then it was “How can you say no NOW, after you’ve gone out with him so many times? It was very unfair for you to string him along.” I realized afterward that she just wanted her shadchan fee. If I would have understood from the outset I would have said “Here’s $500. No pressure. If you make my shidduch, you got your fee in advance. If not, it was a gift. Don’t bother me.”
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