FuturePOTUS,
Infatuation by definition fades away after a certain point. So it wouldn’t be smart to base the relationship on something that will all of a sudden disappear.
Agreed.
(It may not disappear all of a sudden, but the realization that it is gone generally happens in a flash of intuition). The point of infatuation is to kindle a flame between the couple to allow them to use that time to build a much deeper relationship that will last beyond the time that the infatuation fades.
Agreed again.
So as you said, it is real ‘learning.’
I wasn’t referring to infatuation when I made that analogy, but the formation of a loving bond, which one does from day one of marriage.
But it’s not yet strong enough to base an entire relationship on (similar to that we don’t expect a 5th grader to understand a Maharsha.)
I’m not sure I understand. Why does a bond have to be strong or mature before one can base his marriage on it? A farmer bases his livelihood on tiny seeds buried out of sight underground.
So in your opinion, what then should a new couple base their relationship upon?
Forming a loving bond together! Maintaining an awareness that this person has chosen me out of all people to share her life with, and feeling gratitude both to Hashem and to her for that. Always remembering that I chose to marry her and to be her husband, and that this choice is renewed constantly by how I think, speak, and act. To focus on bringing her pleasure, to be kind to her, to make her my top priority, and to make myself worthy of her choice as best as possible.