Reply To: Need some shidduch advice….

Aries, thank you for your wise point.

The problems were pretty well known throughout her particular community (one that I am in outsider too), and the problems are more a result of her homelife growing up. All I will say is that a lot of information was kept from during the dating process. A lesson for me was that I should have done more digging at the time, but i trusted my fiancee, and thought I knew why type of person she was, and did not want to hold her accountable for her parents mistakes. That is why, after we broke it off, many in her community (including her Rabbi and closest friends) reached out to me knowing that there were indeed issues, and that they knew that I had done nothing to bring this about.

I know that my ex still respects me greatly, and at the time I tried to handle the situation with as much maturity as possible. We have not been in contact, but I do feel that, as you say, she would ultimately accept the idea of her friend and I dating.

With all this said, perhaps you are correct and I should take her emotional thoughts into account a little more, as that can someday come back and do damage.