Yichusdik – avadai! I don’t think DY was saying otherwise (unless I missed something). I think that is the point. That Torah teaches us to have good middos which means trying to work on communication and respect and being dan l’kaf zchus.
Additionally, being aware that you are doing it for a higher purpose and that you share a common goal with your spouse should make a difference. It seems to me that knowing that the purpose of your marriage is not stam for your own enjoyment but for the purpose of building a home of Torah should help someone to get through the rough times and keep going even when things aren’t going so well and your spouse is being annoying and you feel like you would be better off without him.
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