karlbenmarx:
Sorry to bust your bubble, but there is no “protection” from divorce among the kollel community. That perception is plainly inaccurate. There may be divorces that are being withheld by advisers who believe they are accomplishing something with their guidance. But it is simply untrue. Survey the therapists who work exclusively in the frum community. Check out the rabbonim who sit on batei din that specialize in matrimonial issues. Inquire from toanim who work chiefly with divorces. Your presentation of facts is plainly fictional.
It is not a kollel lifestyle that keeps families intact. It is not Torah knowledge. It is also not the trend to avoid professionals and seek guidance only from rabbonim. There are abusive men/women in the kollel community as there are elsewhere. There is a mismatch (a.k.a. bad chemistry) in every community. College education, secular training, attending and following daf yomi, levush, number of hours scheduled in the beis medrash, or even prominent family names are all unrelated to the conduct of a marriage or its failure. The true issues are midos, degree of consistency between someone’s potential and their actual pursuit of success, and the honest level of spirituality. The Torah true baal haboss is more likely to manage marriage well, while the kollel guy who is only following a trend of refusing to pursue a career is less likely.
I enjoy the “junk statistics” that people spout to make points. The conclusions are reached first, then the numbers (usually fictional as well) are painted around them to give an air of legitimacy.
There is a story of a talmid of Rav Chaim Vital ZT”L who passed away. He appeared to Rav Chaim in a dream, inquiring of him why he was given a portion on the next world that was most unfavorable. He claimed he was such a scholar, taught Torah and Kaballah to so many, was meticulous in his mitzvos, etc. Why was he thrust into a negative space. Rav Chaim responded that all his wonderful Torah achievements were obliterated in the face of his home behavior. He conducted his home and family life like a tyrant, being abusive to his wife and children.
I would gladly want to believe that the Torah community fares better with shalom bayis. But the concept you cited of adhering to Daas Torah (altogether nebulous and vague) does not jive with the experiences of those who deal with the problems on a constant basis.
If you choose to respond, please offer a bit more detail on what it is that comprises the Daas Torah that supposedly makes a difference.