“I am entitled to mine”
So are we.
Thank you for responding to our opinions by telling us what your opinion is based on. It is helpful to know where it is coming from.
It is possible that there have been specific cases in which people got married too soon and if they had gone out longer would have realized there were problems. I wasn’t arguing that that can happen. (Although, even in those cases, I am wondering if you have reason to believe that if they had gone out longer, it would have made a difference. And is it possible that better checking have produced the same results?)
What I am arguing with is stating that as a general rule. I know way too many people who went out less than 10 times and are very happily married, so I do not feel that it is right to knock a system that works well for many communities and individuals, even if it doesn’t work for everyone.
The percentages of divorce are statistically higher in communities in which people date for longer. The goyish world has many more divorces than the Frum world does. Within the Frum world, my impression is that the more insulated societies have less divorces and those are the ones that generally date less. So I find it hard to make a correlation as a general rule although there may be individual cases in which it would have helped to have gone out more.
Bottom line: everyone has to know himself and know what is best for him. For many people and communities, going out less than 10 times works. For others it doesn’t. Do what’s right for you.