“There are numerous reasons starting with the shidduch process itself. We expect two people who barely know each other make a decision in 3-4 weeks after meeting less than 10 times; get engaged and barely talk/see each other during the engagement period and then get married and expect everything to work.”
I don’t think it’s fair to blame it on that. So many people only meet a few times beforehand and have great marriages. And many people know each other for a while or didn’t meet through the Shidduch system and end up divorced.
I see no correlation between how long people go out and how well their marriages turn out. Actually, I do see a correlation. I think that people who go out shorter are more likely to have better marriages.
People should go out for the amount of time that works for them and not be judgmental of those who do things differently. There is no right amount of time. It has to do with the individual as well as the community the person is coming from.