My turn, thank you for trying to bring some balance to this conversation. An objective observer skimming through it will notice that girls are allowed to choose a partner that they like. They may reject boys for being dull, lacking a sense of humor etc, until they find what they consider a “true personality match.” Those same girls despair and find the whole world corrupt and intolerable when they are rejected by boys. Perhaps you can make an argument that girls are more attracted to guys who are great conversationalists with an amazing sense of humor, while guys are more into appearance. And if you want to say that this is not human nature, but rather a result of men being deeply flawed, then go ahead. I’m not sure I”ll join you though.
Anecdotal evidence cannot be used to draw definite conclusions. But I would like to end with something I was told when I turned to a seasoned shadchan with many years experience (and many successes) for advice. I was finding it frustrating that I was not successful in trying to set up a date. I initially took to heart the whole shidduch crisis uproar and tried to set up a few shidduchim between people I knew. And my rejections were coming from the girls! Was I doing something wrong? The shadchan told me that was all part of the hard work that goes into shidduchim, and admitted that she often has a much harder time from the girls than from the guys!
A lot can be said for the revolutionary idea that everyone, both male and female, approach shidduchim with kindness, consideration, and menchlichkeit. And many people do. Which can B”H be attested to by the wedding invitations that fall into our mailboxes with great frequency, and the lack of space in our kindergartens.