A pauper used to visit the famous Jewish philanthropist Baron Rothschild every month with his brother, and each would be given 50 pounds. The brother died and the following month the pauper came alone. Upon seeing him, Rothschild’s secretary handed the man 50 pounds.
“Just a minute,” protested the pauper. “I’m entitled to a hundred pounds.”
“But your brother is dead,” replied the secretary. “His handout was cancelled.”
“What do you mean cancelled?” asked the pauper angrily. “Am I my brother’s heir or is Rothschild?!”
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The rabbi was distressed at the lack of generosity among his congregants, and he prayed that the rich should give more charity to the poor.
“And has your prayer been answered?” asked his wife.
“Half of it was,” replied the rabbi. “The poor are willing to accept.”
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The captain of a Syrian Air Force transport flying over the Mediterranean sends out a MAYDAY message:
“This is Syrian Air Force # 174 announcing we have lost one engine and want to land at any airport in the Middle East other than Israel!”
No answer.
A while later he announces, “This is Syrian Air Force # 174 again. We have now lost two engines and need to land at any airport in the Middle East other than Israel!”
Silence.
A short while later the captain announces, “This is Syrian Air Force #174. We are desperate. We have now lost THREE engines an urgently ask permission to land at any airport in the Middle East other than Israel!”
Still no answer.
Finally the captain calls out, “Help! This is Syrian Air Force #174. We have only one engine left and it is rapidly failing. Unless we can land we are going to crash. We need permission to land at ANY airport in the Middle East INCLUDING Israel!”
Shortly thereafter, a voice is heard in the Syrian cockpit: “Shalom Syrian Air Force # 174. This is Tel Aviv approach control. We would like to help.”
“Allah is praised,” says the Syrian pilot. “Please give me instructions.”
“Do you speak Hebrew?”
“No”
“OK, then please repeat after me: Yitgadal Viyitkadash Shimay Rabbah…..”