In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.”
(well…duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Sainsbury’s peanuts —
“Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine —
“Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding —
“Product will be hot after heating,”
(…and you thought????…
On a Sears hairdryer —
Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.
On a bag of Doritos —
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap —
“Directions: Use like regular soap,”
(and that would be???….
On some Swanson frozen dinners —
“Serving suggestion: Defrost,”
(but, it’s just a suggestion).
On packaging for a Rowenta iron —
“Do not iron clothes on body,”
(but wouldn’t this save me time)?
On Nytol Sleep Aid —
“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(..I’m taking this because???…..)
On most brands of Christmas lights —
“For indoor or outdoor use only,”
(as opposed to what)?
On a Japanese food processor —
“Not to be used for the other use,”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts —
“Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
(Step 3: say what?)
On a child’s Superman costume —
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)