“Also, I think there’s no basis for your assumption that a divorce will lead to four happy people instead of two unhappy ones.”
I was quoting the Bostoner Rebbetzin, zts”l. I didn’t mean it (and I don’t think she meant it) as an assumption. The point is that if you get divorced, it becomes a possibility. And I know of many cases in which the remarriages were successful and did lead to 4 happy people. (actually I know of one case in which a total of 3 divorces ultimately led to 6 happy people).
Statistics about the number of people whose second marriages ended in divorce are irrelevant, since there are many people whose second marriages are successful. The key is to examine the differences between those that were and those that weren’t so that you can make sure that you are in the second category. From the situations that I know of, it seems like whether or not the people involved go through therapy (after the divorce, before they get remarried and throughout their second marriage) makes a big difference.
In any case, despite that quote, I actually don’t think that one should get divorced assuming they will get remarried. But they are creating the possibility for there being 4 happy people instead of 2 unhappy ones.