LB- Also, not to pressure you or anything, since I know that you are in a process, and it’s crucial to take things slowly and grow in a healthy pace. But, it is also important to know what our goals are. So you should be aware that part of Yiddishkeit is believing in certain things. And I think we are supposed to believe that there is reward and punishment in the World-to-Come. Not just to prevent us from straying, but because it is Emes and we are supposed to believe it.
If you prefer not to think about it too much, that is fine, but it is important to believe in it (when you feel ready). In Judaism, the beliefs are important and not just the actions.
Again, I do want to stress my great admiration for your love for and enthusiasm for Yiddishkeit for its own sake. I have a lot to learn from you.
Thanks!