I certainly feel your pain.
Take a deep breath. Ain Od Milvado. I know it seems very hard now, but we are living in a time when people need to batul themselves. Trust me. I have gone from a XXX,XXX dollar a year job to being disabled, in constant pain and living hand to mouth (asking for help from in-laws, etc.). It;s all from G-d and you need to understand that it’s not the nisayon that matters but how we deal with it. This is NOT easy. It is nearly impossible. Just try and remind yourself that you are not in control. Hashem is and He knows best.
Talk to the yeshivah and say that you need help. Talk to those you borrowed from and ask for an extension or to make realistic payments over a longer period. Ask a local girls yeshivah if they have a chessed program. They usually do and will send a few students over to help with the housework and your wife. Just do your Hishtadlus and Hashem will take care of the rest.
Lastly, you need sleep. You are no good to anyone, especially Hashem and yourself if you are about to break. Leave the chores until tomorrow and get a good night’s sleep.
Thank G-d every day for your children. Many cannot have them. thank G-d every day for your wife. Many can’t find shidduchim or have R”L lost their spouses. Thanks G-d every day that you have a home, are alive, live in a free country and are a Yid.
Hug your kids and tell them why they are special and that you love them unconditionally. Tell them that sometimes tings get stressful but that you don’t mean to take it out on them and that it’s nothing they’re doing.
Good luck and keep us posted.