Reply To: obtain a beis din's preliminary ruling without actually going to a beis din

Quick update . . . we met with a Rabbi from a Beis Din in Lakewood for a shaila. My question was whether my wife had grounds to have a Beis Din order me to give her a Get. The Rabbi confirmed certain things on these boards & contradicted other things. The Rabbi asked me over & over why I wanted to stay married to somone who wants to divorce me. I told him about how the posters on here quoted all these authoritative texts and Torah Scholars supporting my position that I had a right to stay married. He said forget all that. He was trying as hard as he could to get me to see the futility of staying married to someone who didn’t want me. I explained that my positon is that if we can get in front of a good marriage counselor, it’s possible my wife could have an epiphany and come around. My wife seemed irked & very surprised that he said a Beis Din wouldn’t order me to give a Get. I had to give a Get voluntarily. I was sent out of the room several times while my wife & the Rabbi went over her written list of grievances & discussed things. I have to believe her grievances were insufficient, e.g., physical abuse, cheating, etc… or the Rabbi would have said she had grounds. The Rabbi gave us the names of some marriage counselors in Lakewood. I gave a contribution to his shul. He wished us hatzlacha & that was it.