Joseph let’s take the topic of divorce as an example.
Here’s what a discussion between us should look like:
You: 99% of divorces are avoidable. Most divorces happen because women are interested in romance which is a non-jewish concept.
Me: 1. Did you make a research? 2. How are they avoidable? Clearly most coupless try counsling so what else should they do? 3. How is the idea of romance different than the idea of “Mechabda Yoter Migufo”.
You: 1. No but I trust Arav Miller who had much wisdom and experience 2. Fixing marriage takes a lot of effort which the women aren’t willing to take 3. Romance is about excitement and fancy restaurants which has nothing to do with respect and live.
This wouldn’t end here as I wouldn’t agree with this imaginery you. But this is an discussion.
Instead it goes like this: everyone tries to think and explain their side, while you simply keep bringing quotes from various rabanim to enforce your original statement.
Unfortunately you manage to dumb down the entire discussion, and instead of arguing about CONTENT everyone tries to argue whether Arav Miller is 1. A godel 2. As godel as… 3. Can we even decide who is greater (all worthy issues but not the ONLY issues in the life of a jewish person)
You treat issues and psaks like black boxes. You don’t care what’s inside. You leave the thinking to Rav Miller. But how did Arav Miller get to what he got? By walking around with open eyes and thinking, and surely not by always looking for a quote that’s the closest match to the situation at hand.