I think this entire story is being blown entirely out of proportion. I personally know of many people who had a detailed list of what they were looking for, only to realize that paper does not always transition well into the reality. If you think this may be an option, treat him like any other shidduch. Do some research, answer the basic questions you have, and then go out on a date. You’re not required to marry him after a date, and most of the important questions you have can only be answered by him, not through research.
** If you are worried about being blinded by infatuation, then write down your “red lines” before you date him, and make sure they check out before letting it get too far**
Have some faith in God people…