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lilmod ulelamaid – After reading your post I think you have a Phobia with dating. Go to a Godol like R’ Chaim but speak only to his wife and ask for advise and a brocha. The advise and brocha Must come from the wife NOT from Rav Chaim. Next arrange with you shaddchin to arrange a date at a chess club as I think you posted that you were into chess and meet at the club. Just think of it as you are going out to play chess with a friend not as a date. You may want to scope out the place before going there on a date so go there with a friend and get a feel for the place. It doesn’t have to be a chess club anything that you like to do, but try to meet at the place not at your home. Pick a place where most frum dates don’t go so that it will be easier for him to recognize you. I think your Phobia maybe due to trying to look perfect so try to keep it casual.