WOW
I know from charedi family members they really do think like the R’Y who says to keep out families with OTD members. Its not an aberattion and they do think OTD kids should be kicked out. They were talking about it during Pesach.
The problem is not Yiddishkeite, Its FRUMKEITE . In the goyish world people try to out do the jones in cars, houses etc. In the Charedi world people are trying to out-frum the Goldsteins by Proving they are MORE FRUM than everyone and they dont care what damage it causes. People are not willing to stand up and say enough. They are not willing to say that yeshivas have the community hostage and when one speaks out they should be shunned from the community.
Look at Ramat Besi Shemesh. It was wrong what happend, but why did nobody speak out. That is a flaw.
Look at the Yeshiva system in Israel now. Do you think EVERY Charedi belives in lifetime Kollel . Of course not some I am sure belive in work and would love to work (and I bet some would even like to join the army) but nobody is sticking up..
I know plenty of Charedim. Much of my family is Charedi and I like them.
Speaking up against the misguided people will do alot to end your frustration and I am sure many others as well