I’m not jaded, I’m a realist. As you said it yourself that the RY thought the same way I did.
I dont think that your son would complain about his home life, but if he happens to mention it, then it’s out there and the information will spread. He is not a “ticking time bomb” but that is the perception the yeshivos have. They think it’s only a matter of time before he is influenced to follow in the ways of his brother.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news but any “A” list institution thinks this way and while you are not trying to “paint everyone with the same brush” these institutions all operate out of the same playbook and they will do whatever they can to keep out anyone with “problems” they dont care to solve/be associated with.
So you can post here all you want and hope that someone reads this and it affects some positive change, but we havent seen change like that yet..it’s just getting more and more exclusive.