Reply To: Going off the Derech

aries2756-I don’t agree with you that the reason he is not feeling loved is bc he is ‘not a contributing member of the group’. ‘Not being productive’ may exacerbate the problem, but I don’t believe it is the cause. My son was damaged emotionally, to the extent that he cannot pick himself up. He doesn’t ‘give’ anything to anyone right now, and if that’s what has to happen for him to develop self esteem, then we’re in trouble. He has to heal his inner pain, and needs to re-connect with his inner strengths in order to see that he has the tools to help himself. Then he has the opportunity to become part of a group, and to give to others. The things you mentioned seem to be for a healthier person, someone who is in a slump, and needs a push. My son is not making good choices right now, bc he is doing it from a place of pain. Once the pain is healed, he would be in a much better position to rise up to the occasion, and do the things you mentioned.

truthsharer-my husband is not worrying about hashkafa. The philosophy behind TP requires certain behaviors from us that my husband found too difficult to do. In theory, however, my husband did agree with Avi’s perspective.

Imaofthree-we are looking into the idea of giving him his own room. And I agree with you, that I think time is an essential healer.