Wow- im 16 actually…but its different maturity wise with girls…
S1- k so heres my theory: we are all so aguanst “yeshivish” ppl..whats their crime? Being CLOSE MINDED! So my theory is that your religous level and close mindedness dont have to corralate… So in realty, arent we bein so closeminded of them???? We have to see where they are coming from and we hve to be open to hearing their side of it and we have to be open to listen.
What helped me change? Well honestly i said this beforebut it was actually asking! I decided i have nothing to lose if i ask all those questions and guess what it helped!
I have dedicated a lot of my time to help friends in similar situations… I always tell girls that taking on a kabbala such as “i am no longer going to talk to guys” is plain stupid. The yetzer hara LOVES situations like that. He knows where we are weak and its basiaclly like going on a no carb diet which works for a few weel amd suddenly youre off and gain it all back!
You’re stopping the little effects of the true root of the problem. Theres a root much deeper amd it results in us talking to guys, listening to not jewish music, watching movies, etc. Stopping those wont help since the actual problem isnt THAT! The problem is a lack of connection and a lack of belief.
I stopped talking to guys like 80 times. It didnt work a million times. What changed?
So at one point last year i was already bein called “rebbetzin” but i noticed at some point i sort of platoued…i got to a point but wasnt going higher anymore…then i got into a mess with the guy i was talking to and i stopped tlking to him…and magic! I started to grow more. And now whe. The yetzer hara creeps into my mind at night saying “wasnt that a joke u wudve txtd him?” Im like “yeah but as much as i could just go find his number i dont want to cuz wen i talk to him hes basiaclly a spiritual barrier and hes holding me down at a certain level” theres NOOO way to grown past a certain poin if you talk to him. The meas is all cleaned up and amd any day i could text him but i dont even want to…
See just stopping cuz i was caught up in the whole elul spirit is t enough… If you want to fully understand how the yetzer hara plays mind games with you i would really reccomend to reach “bate plans” by rebbetzin tziporah heller and sara yocheved rigler.
Emunah issues are a normal thing for girls our age…its not thinking too deaply its just cLled having your head skrewed on! I dont know whats normal in your school, mine is pretty open so asking these questikns dusnt get you in trouble. Most schools have Rabbi Mechanic come in 11yh grade and he answers basic questions like “how do we know we are right and theyre wrong?” “How do we know God exists?” So if you are in 11th grade the. Look foward! I am deinately excited!!! If youre past that then review your notes or maybe his approach wasnt it and there are ither rabbanim with different answers…for me my rav did it for me because hes not your typical long beard rabbi. He is so full of personality and life and can relate to everyone and he was just a ray of light cuz i realized being frum doesnt equal being in a box… If youre younger than me im just gonna say that around 10/11th gr we really grow up, by that point if you still tlk to guys youre probably going to continue and i you stop its cuz u rlly changed. Most my friends did the guy thing in 9/10th but by the end of 10th either stopped or are off completely or from modern families…
You seem to WANT the truth so thats good…wanting to want is. Huge step and ur past that alreay!