SI- i know exactly what you mean. So i stopped talking to guys like fifty times before actually stopping. We fail and we fail and we fail but rabbi yy sed “failing doesnt make you a failure, its failing to try again.”
Your situation with being scared about talking to a rabbi is actually also like mine. I didnt want my parents to know either for the same reason, but if you can hide guys why cant you hide talking to a rav? Thts what i did, i mean now they know but they didnt know for literally three months that i spoke to him.
Rabbis are the best so talk to him! Im begging!!!