Interjection, yes they are accepting at first, but they don’t want to be reminded either of the past they left behind and encourage the change. They ask why he is still wearing a “kippah” does he really believe in it? They ask why he is still wearing the “oreo uniform” his is no longer in yeshiva so why is he being so stiff? They tell him that they will teach him how to dress and chill. Lets be real here. They tease and cajole until they are all on the same page. At that young stage in life they are all scared and don’t know how to be an individual, they all have to be a part of something, they have a “need” to belong. If he were the leader of the gang then he would be the one influencing the others and the one in control. But that is not the case here, he joined their group and changed his appearance, attitude, personality to be just like the others. The more time he spends with them, the more his personality changes to be part of that group.
I am not saying that any of those boys are bad. Personally I never met a bad kid, just kids with bad problems and I am sure each and every kid in that group is carrying their own heavy “pekel”. They are not trying to hurt him or harm him in any way. They are not trying to cause machlokes with him and his family, they are not trying to do anything other than be in the moment and not worry about the next one. I truly believe that each and every kid on the street has been badly hurt in one way or another. Each one is licking their wounds and looking for ways to heal. Each one feels rejected in one way or another. No child should ever feel that way. Every child has the right to feel loved and wanted in every area of their lives. They should feel that the adults in their lives care about them and will protect them from harm and will never let them down. They should be able to count on adults to keep them safe, to be honest and truthful, and to be the best role models for them to follow.
A kid’s job is to be a kid, and that comes with mistakes and successes. But that’s just how a child is designed to learn and to stumble and then learn from their mistakes and move on. An adult’s job is to recognize that kids make mistakes and those mistakes should not follow them into adulthood or ruin the rest of their lives. Kids are kids and adults need to stop expecting them to behave like adults and be punished like adults. Adults put way too much pressure and way too much responsibility on kids, we involve them in too many adult issues and when they want to be treated like adults we just laugh at them and disrespect them.
We don’t watch what we speak about in front of them. They are pulled into our financial situations and are not shielded from our worries. They are pulled into our personal relationships and are not shielded from our arguments and breakups. In many instances they are subjected to mechanchim that should never have a place in the classroom. They come home to an empty house or a home where there is a housekeeper who doesn’t even speak the same language. Many children are left to basically raise themselves with no parents at home when they leave for school, no parents at home when they come home, and in many instances no one home to help with their homework or tuck them in at night. And then you have the issue of bullying where the hanhallah refuses to get involved. What is wrong with this picture???
Just about everything. What can we do about it? That is a whole other thread altogether.