Reply To: Going off the Derech

pcoz-I’ll tell you the truth, the more time that passes by, the more I see that my son’s choice to go OTD had nothing to do with any of the things we mentioned. My kids don’t think they have to be perfect in mitsvos for Hashem to see us as a good person. Every Jew, regardless of their level of observance is inherently good. Most of the mothers I met seemed easy going, not judgemental or critical. And the mothers I know personally who are going through this, are also down to earth and yirat Shamayim. A shiur I listened to by Rabbi Shaya Cohen said it’s bc the kids today don’t feel simcha in their Judaism. Perhaps they feel the stresses/struggles of the parents, or perhaps in this world of advanced technology, spirituality got lost. I think my son’s choice has more to do with a lack of self esteem, and not ever feeling like he fit in to the yeshiva he attended. I think it began when the kids made fun of him, and it left such a scar, that bc he is so sensitive, he was never able to forget it or forgive the kids for it. I see him with the crowd he’s with now, and he’s a different person. He’s much more talkative, confident, and secure. He was never like that with the yeshiva kids, he was always so quiet and shy. The proof is that he feels no connection to the yeshiva or the boys after all these years.