wow- I just thought of this..
did you ever write a letter to your son.
no blame- just explaining how bad you feel that he is so miserable.
How it hurts you that he is not going in line with the Torah or how he was brought up. You are sorry if he feels you wronged him and he will always be your son, and you always love him and will always try to help him..
My son just told me about some plan he has to take some kind of long trip during the 9 days.
I try to explain to him that one does not take long trips, go swimming etc.. bec of ‘sakana’.
well, he doesn’t think driving 10 hrs and meeting a ‘goy-idol’ some joe, that one of his friends introduced him to- eppes a tv ‘shpeeler’
is a sakana or a vacation..
I said what I had to. the rest I talk to Hashem that these plans should fail!!
All of you that commented about the dress code- like wow mentioned.
the way a person dresses on the outside reflects what he is on the inside. especially if you were brought up one way and then change the dress code.
YES! I would be very happy if my son would learn a few hours a day. daven before chatzos without eating before- no he is not weak!-
and perhaps learn some dinnim of what one may and may not do at any given time..
the dress does not bother me.. in his case its what it reflects that breaks my heart.