WOW: Its been a while since I commented on this thread, but I after reading your last post, I couldn’t help myself. You said, “Only in the Torah world is there real simcha . . .” I commend you for believing that, but it evinces a mindset that may do more harm than good when dealing with you son.
Simply put, it’s just not true. Many, many, irreligious Jews and non-Jews enjoy much real, genuine, and lasting simcha in there lives. There is much simcha to be had in raising a family, going to work, bringing home a paycheck, watching a ball game, spending time with friends and neighbors, reading books, and yes, even in going to Church/Mosque/Temple and living as one’s religion dictates. Granted, I imagine you have not gotten to know many non-Jews, or happy, fulfilled, irreligious Jews. But let me tell you, from my own experience, some of the most happy, fulfilled people I know have nothing to do with Torah (at least not with Tanach, Shas, and Shulchan Aruch – the way they live is still a lifestyle the Torah and God can be proud of).
The point is that there is REAL fulfillment outside of the Torah world. We, of course, believe strongly that living according to halacha is the RIGHT WAY to gain happiness and live a fulfilling life. But it isn’t the only way. If you portray to your son, who may be tasting a bit of that non-Torah happiness for the first time, that it’s Torah or a drug-induced, promiscuity-laced, wasteful life on the streets, you are not going to get anywhere. HE KNOWS THAT THAT IS NOT TRUE, even if you as yet do not.
Consider that he may feel genuinely fulfilled and happy in the way he is now living. I doubt it, since he is a teenager, and most likely not engaged in a meaningful non-Torah lifestyle. But he may well see the potential for a happy non-Torah life somewhere down the line, while all he sees in the Torah lifestyle he grew up in is repression of his unique needs and personality, the need to conform, misunderstanding, and a denial of reality by his peers, rabbeim, and family.
As I have read this thread of the past weeks, I see that you really are working on the right track. In many ways, my thoughts are unnecessary. But I just wished to point out that perspective, and how it may be that your son might take your negative attitude towards anything non-Torah-based to be unrealistic. Remember, he is experiencing a new world, a world that is appealing to him right now, and a world that he knows you cannot understand as he does because you have never experienced the positive of it.