And Zehava is right- not being charedi isn’t a terrible thing.
Being charedi is a lifestyle. You should be able to CHOOSE it, not have it forced on you.
Not everyone has to wear the black pants/ white shirt. I go to a kollel and everyone is wearing polo shirts and there is a very loud kol torah! They are working fellows who are in the working field, but have chosen not to wear the black pants/ white shirt deal.
There are others who even in the work field still dress yeshivishe.
That’s their choice. No one is forcing anyone to do anything.
You want to remain a Jew- then don’t force your son to do anything. At this rate, you got nothing to lose.
The point is for their kids to grow up as a mentch, believe in Hashem and to show the rest of the world what fearing GD is all about.
There is nothing wrong with not being yeshivish’e or going to shul without a hat or a jacket. Other people might call that being a bum, and you’re going to hell if you’re not living the yeshivishe lifestyle. But, I think not.
Not living the yeshiva lifestyle is perfectly NORMAL. And there is nothing wrong with doing your own thing and fearing HASHEM in your own way.