Another thing that I do, so I dont seem like a threat but rather a friend in a certain sense- which I am with all my children- and they still respect me..
when he starts telling me things that are going on I speak his language.. not nivul peh.. and I seem interested in what he is telling me.
If I meet him with his friends I talk to them as well.. and act along with them.
This way I get information and keep it in ‘storage’.
even when I hear him speakng with friends on the phone I would comment something ‘corny’ or funny..
Like this he finds the friend in me and when I ask him a ‘favor’
like maybe he should daven or something like that he does not think to himself that I only talk to him to tell him what to do..