Reply To: Going off the Derech

Sam2- so what you’re saying is,that he should be made to feel that he can still be a frum Jew, even if he doesn’t conform to the stereotype of a frum Jew? That I shouldn’t react to the colored shirt bc he can still wear a colored shirt and be a religious Jew? Maybe that is what he’s trying to tell me, but I’m just so afraid that his wearing a colored shirt, in conjunction with everything else he is doing, really means that he is beginning to leave the derech. Do I sound fanatic? I think you are right though.

interjection-the only thing is, that I don’t think he can easily find his own identity within the conforms of halacha in our community, unless he’s black and white. Even if, like Sam2 said, I could give him the feeling that it’s okay to be himself within the confines of halacha, blue jeans and all, he will never get that feeling from anyone else in this community except his chevra. And that chevra has an agenda, since they are not in yeshivas or jobs, they are just hanging out, and they want him to be a street boy like them. How will he be strong enough to pick himself up, and stay on the derech, especially when their opinion matters most to him at this point?

chance-making someone feel needed is a good idea, but he would never be interested in getting involved with anything at this point.

alwayscurious-so glad you ‘came back’, I can only imagine how happy your mother was!

I don’t think I could ever buy him jeans and colored shirts, it would be huge triumph for me if I could even let him buy it