Reply To: Going off the Derech

Ya know, I’m starting to really blame the whole system. What are we doing to our children? This morning, my son said he wants to really try to give yeshiva his last best shot. He didn’t go out last night with the chevra, he went to bed early, and left for school this morning on time (without me prodding him at all!). Now, he comes home telling me that his RY sent him home bc he didn’t know the material on his test, and he can’t come back without his father. I asked my son what happened? He said, he had no chavrusa last week, so he didn’t know the material (this has been a problem every so often , that he doesn’t have a chavrusa bc of the odd # of kids in the class, so periodically he’s left without one. Can such a crazy thing really happen??). We discussed it with his RY in the past, and they usually solve it. My son cried that he feels his RY wants him to fail and quit yeshiva so they don’t have to try to find him a yeshiva for next year. He said nobody cares about him, not his RY and not Hashem! He cried that this is one of the reasons that he can’t go to yeshiva next year, bc he can’t learn, he’s not a good student and can’t remember anything. This is a kid, who has an INCREDIBLE memory, whose Rebbes used to call us on the phone telling us that they are so impressed with his mind, that he’s sharp and has an uncanny ability to understand difficult concepts with ease, that we will see nachas from him. And he sees himself as a failure! I am crying as I write this bc I don’t know how to help him. It doesn’t seem to matter to him how much I believe in him, he’s stuck on how his RY sees him. And he’s convinced that his RY hates him.