WanderingTeen and write or wrong- I grew up with the hashkafa of “mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma” and “adam nifal kefi peulotav”, that the more we do, the more it becomes a part of us. It took until three years ago, that I realized I had it backwards. The understanding of those two ma’amarim, are appropriate when a belief system is in place. I had been taught to do, do, do without having any appreciation for our heritage, that eventually with enough doing I would want to do. However, I have always been a deep thinker, and although I would ask all the questions, I never received answers that worked for me. W.O.W. you do what you do because deep down you do believe. At that point, however, I did not have a source of belief; I felt I had been fed lies and constrictions my entire life. I came to the point that I resented my entire childhood. I had been done with Judaism for a while and was going to try elsewhere when I decided to give the religion of my birth one last (truly openminded) chance.
Instead, and against everything I wanted to do (I, as well as many of my closest friends were not observant so it was going to cost me, besides that I didn’t care to believe it was true), I began to work from the bottom up. I began to work on my understanding of each individual mitzvah, and therefore on my love of God. It took time, but I began to realize how true and awesome our heritage is!
There are answers to any and every question, because the Torah is true! If an answer doesn’t suit you, ask again to someone else. If a person has a foundation of respect and belief in Judaism, everything will automatically follow. If not, the fact that we have to pay someday, is irrelevant because ‘who cares about a God whom I half believe in anyway.’
If the issue is a lack of answers, call Ohr Sameach, call Aish, call Neve Yerushalayim. And read those books by Rabbi Kellerman; extremely worthwhile reads. There are brilliant people who know how to give all the answers in a way that you realize how true it is.