I don’t understand how dying al kiddush Hashem can be separated from dying.
Everybody dies. Some people have a special z’chus to die al kiddush Hashem. It’s not a matter of separating dying al kiddush Hashem from dying; it’s s matter of separating dying al kiddush Hashem from dying shelo al kiddush Hashem.
Also, I can understand the tefilla that, if/when it is my time, let it be meaningful, but that is different from coming in ex post facto and saying with authority what happened with someone and why.
Agreed; it’s a theory, not a certitude. I’m not saying I think that’s what happened, I just don’t think what he said deserved the response it got.