Person1: “If you open your eyes and look around you you’ll see many frum families where the wife has a lot to say on everything that happens in the house. They are not all sinners or feminists.”
Who said otherwise? I specifically quoted Rav Miller zt’l as saying: “He is the Captain, but she is the First Mate whose counsel is respected.”
“and his wife is the one managing the house”
It’s quite common for the husband to delegate managing the house to his wife. Probably even prevalent.
Regarding the wife having to do what her husband tells her, it is b’feirush halacha in Shulchan Aruch and throughout the poskim. See, for example, Shulchan Aruch YD 240:17 and S”A EH 69.