Lilmod, I dont think it has anything to do with intelligence. As I see it, a man has likely spent many years learning intensely and expects to be the one who is more text based in the relationship (as he has been trained). In that scenario, I can see where it might be off putting for a person (who he has been told is less knowledgeable in text based learning), to start responding with sources from Gemorah and Meforshim and one-upping him on the things he expects to be the stronger one on. It’s not about intelligent or not, just a matter of using the intelligence in a way that won’t ruin everything he’s known about himself until that point.
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